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Excerpts
Trees, just trees...
So, I guess I’ll live. Maybe in a wheelchair, but that’s life too, Sebastian assessed his situation after being left alone. But that’s just the worst-case scenario. It’s also possible that I’ll walk again... And I can certainly try to walk again... My senses seem to be intact, my mind works, so some meaningful future must exist... But what kind?
Sebastian, I hesitated for a long time whether and how to write to you. I even consulted a therapist, who advised me to write the letter first and then decide whether to send it or not. If you’re holding it in your hand, then I sent it, otherwise, it’s lying in one of my secret places.
As he was thinking, a window appeared on the screen with the header New message. Against his will, he also read the second line: From: Mom, Re: Birthday. She forgot to turn off synchronization… I should probably turn off the tablet quickly... ... Upcoming event: Date. ... I should really stop, he thought and put the tablet back in the nightstand.
I’m stopping! Clearly, I’m playing with dangerous things here! He spent the whole morning with such and similar thoughts. But then he began to see things from the other side. After all, it’s nothing more than some suppressed fears from childhood.
Instead of panic, he was overwhelmed by an intense feeling of pity. For the lost future. For the wasted past. For the mental state he was leaving in. That’s so unfair!
“So you believe those hyenas too? Even after we explained it a thousand times?” See how angry he gets? He doesn’t have a clear conscience. “Well, there’s no smoke without fire. But it’s not just that, it’s also about the court case.”
The screen showed a scene similar to the one they had just witnessed – the same hospital, the same park, the only difference was that the ambulance wasn’t taking the patient away but bringing them in. The scene cut to a doctor’s office. “Some polytrauma just arrived.” the nurse reported with a phone to her ear.
For instance, in Jung, the biggest bait is active imagination. It seems harmless, people try it, and they’re ours...
Look, I’ve read it all. In my opinion, it’s a mishmash. ... The things it deals with, ninety percent of men have sorted out by the time they’re twenty, and those who haven’t will feel awkward reading it. ... It’s a bit of everything, and each aspect is weak. ... And the fact that they cleverly include a scathing review of themselves in their own work just adds the final touch of awkwardness.
One should never give up if there’s any hope.
Reader comments
Well, it starts off well, but I’m not into the ghost stuff / The eroticism was good, that surprised me / The sex ... is terrible – seriously, can you think of anyone who can describe sex without making it awkward? / (guess the gender of the last two) / In the middle, Sebastian (the hero) seems to wander a bit / Pretty good for a debut / I’m curious what the reviewers will say / I broke my reader on page thirty / I really liked it, but maybe mainly because I had low expectations: I can imagine what it looks like when we scientists start writing / It made me think about the philosophical question of whether if a person forgets the event that led to their mental problems, they also get rid of those problems – I admit I skipped a bit / What about you?
More about the story – beware, it contains spoilers!
In 2003, published by Volvox Globator
Supported by the State Fund of Culture.